


by plucking petals you do not gather the beauty of the flower

by emothy



Series: Gaim PacRim [1]
Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Drifting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emothy/pseuds/emothy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryoma and Takatora try Drifting in Ryoma's lab, outside of a Jaegar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	by plucking petals you do not gather the beauty of the flower

-

Takatora is used to his mind scrambling to find ways of interpreting what he's receiving. Colleagues of his have described it in various ways: having information dumped on you like a pile of bricks, experiencing it like your Drift partner was stood there verbally explaining themselves you, or like seeing the words written down on a page and assigning meaning to them as you read, and other more abstract ways, too. Takatora finds the experience varies depending on the other person's way of thinking, and their expectations of the Drift if they've never experienced it before, especially. Ryoma knows more about the collective Drifting experience of every pilot and potential pilot than anyone else in the entire academy, even though this is the first time he's tried it for himself. He goes in with every expectation, and therefore no specific expectations at all; anything is possible. 

Being a novice to the Drift means he can't hide anything, though. Or - more accurately - he can't let things filter out of his own consciousness into their shared consciousness in a controlled manner. With a newbie it'll always be a little like being suffocated beneath an avalanche. Takatora is used to that; he's partnered with many people from newbies to veterans, always doing as asked, always doing what was best for the world at large. 

They connect on a mutual sexual memory, a shared sexual experience. Not just a similar event or sensation, but a sexual encounter they had together. Such intimate, intense feelings make it obvious why such a memory would be one of the strongest, one that swam up to the surface faster than the others. 

They have plenty of time for this, not being dependent on bridging as quickly as possible in order to take a Jaeger out for a battle, so Takatora is happy to allow Ryoma to casually wander through the corridors of his mind. More than happy to; he welcomes it. A part of him wonders why, when he cares about Ryoma so much, he hasn't suggested this before. This is an opportunity for Ryoma to understand him fully, to touch his feelings and be supported by his love. Takatora would have thought Ryoma's needs would have reached this point long ago; he already has Takatora's body to experiment on at will, to embrace and caress as he pleases, why not his mind also? 

He's open, he's so open, like his mind is stood with arms wide waiting to embrace Ryoma's mind. He thinks thoughts of love, and love touches him back. Yes, they meet and connect at that point too, of course. Takatora could never have gotten so intimate with someone if there wasn't mutual love involved. 

It's curious, though, the way his mind interprets the emotion. He shapes it into images. He see himself as a gardener, tending a flower. He feeds it, waters it, and nurtures it. Takatora does all he can to treat it well and encourage it to grow. Ryoma's approach is... different. He too tends a flower, but he denies it any extra nutrients. In fact, he appears to outright deny it even the basics necessary to survive. He seems more curious than anything to see how the flower will fare without support. To see if it will survive the harshness of its environment. 

He seeks to find its breaking point. 

Takatora has never felt cruelly treated by Ryoma; Ryoma outright worships him at times. But beyond the literal adoration of his body and eager desire to be around him, there's no denying that deep down Ryoma is desperate to know how badly he can behave before Takatora will discard him. If he will at all. He seeks to know whether Takatora's love is _true_. 

That's not the way to test it, of course. Love should not be tested at all! But in Ryoma's mind it's only right and fair. He can't perceive of anything wrong with his thinking. Takatora quickly clamps down on his fear; it's one of the first things elite Jaeger pilots learn to do. Of course a fully connected drift is the best kind, but there are also things better not shared. Like fear when entering a battle. Elites learn to suppress it for the sake of less experienced partners. 

He blocks too hard; their bridging severs. 

"I'm sorry," Takatora says quickly, removing his helmet before Ryoma can suggest they simply try again. "It's been a while."

Not a lie, but not entirely the truth, either. Was he quick enough for Ryoma not to be aware of his true thoughts? His horror? He makes sure to keep every muscle in his face perfectly still, not allowing his eyes to widen, mind willing his heart not to race. That, at least, he could blame on an adrenaline rush from drifting. 

-


End file.
